Talking aimlessly might seem nothing big to you and people often take it for granted. For some, it can be one of the hardest parts of their life. However, this aimless chatter is an art that many people deny.
Forcing yourself to talk is anxiety triggering. Now you must be thinking how does it trigger anxiety? Right?! Well, first of all in this situation, as you are not initiating the talk or conversation, this will make you feel anxious that you have nothing to talk about. Due to this, you’ll be more alert and feel the silence around you. And when you are away from this situation, you would overthink how awkward you must have felt if you were present during that conversation.
Is that You?
Now as per the psychiatrists at Shafique psychiatric clinic, the anxiety cycle is quite big, and in fact, it includes various aspects of social phobia and social anxiety- the same is the case with the small talk. But, you need not worry, the rules are simple and once you learn the mechanics of small talk, you are halfway through overcoming your anxiety.
8 Steps to Help You Learn the Dynamics of Small Talk!
- Understanding the Rules
The first and foremost step in learning is understanding the fact that you can’t learn any skill overnight. It is not an innate ability that you learn and all. You must understand that Smalltalk is a form of engaging in interaction and it is a basis of interaction.
This gives a signal to others that you are willing to communicate with them. It is just a simple and basic social interaction.
- Start in a Simple Way
You don’t have to be quirky or start with an accurate remark that seems witty. You are just initiating a talk to check if they are interested in talking or not. A simple comment about the current situation or weather, or view, sports, or even the meaning of life will suffice. These are the basics of the opening act in a conversation.
- You Need to Be Prepared
Here you need to be a bit open-minded and expect people to be as nervous as you. In fact, there is nothing wrong to start with phrases like “Who are you”? Or “What you do”? if you are in any social gathering. You also need to be prepared regarding your body language and the expressions people would give.
- Start with little Information
When you are going to initiate a conversation, you should start by introducing yourself to the other person while mentioning your name. This is necessary so that the other person talking to you will have a cue that to whom he/she is speaking. If you are prepared to share little information with the people, sharing your name with them would help them in using it throughout the conversation.
- You Need to Be Positive
You need to provide enough positive information about yourself so that people should be able to have an idea about you. You would be surprised to see how it’ll affect your overall dialogue and future discussions.
- Try Some Interesting Topics
You don’t have to limit yourself to a one-line opener to initiate the conversation. You don’t need to give up on the conversation in case you talked about a certain book that you liked. They might not be the book people, but they might be interested in painting, sports, songs, movies, or anything else that you liked.
You also need to be mindful of other people. They may be as nervous as you and might be sharing their own topics for the discussion. No need to feel that you have to be talking all the time or be silent. And the best psychologists in Peshawar say that if other people share their opinion, welcome them and if you can answer them do so. Even if you don’t know much about it, you don’t have to be overthinking about it.
- Keep the Conversation Going
Now once a topic has been decided in a conversation all you need to do is keep going on. For example, if you and the other person liked the Harry Potter movie series. Then, you would also be talking about the books Harry Potter and the things you liked about these series.
Remember one thing, you don’t have to stick to just one topic. If you don’t know about the topic of other people then don’t be afraid of saying it if you don’t know about it.
- Smalltalk-Ultimate Getaway
Just as the name indicates, Smalltalk should be Smalltalk. It is all good if you feel like breaking off the conversation when you need to. No need to turn it into an argument. The overall necessary ingredient needed in Smalltalk is kindness, being open to others, and listening and responding to them attentively and honestly.